As a data poet raised between London’s rain and Lagos’ rhythms, I didn’t just crunch numbers—I felt them. This is the story of goals that whispered through chaos: Messi’s 72, Kane’s 43, Ronaldo’s 39—not mere stats, but probabilities made visible. In low-difficulty zones, Lewandowski rose like a tide; in high-pressure moments, Salah’s 34 became a hymn. This isn’t analytics. It’s an elegy written in Python and Tableau.