Messi didn’t score—he just redefined the game’s statistical soul. That 47% drop? Nah. That was his presence doing regression on pressure like it was a coffee spill at 3 AM. Defenders weren’t tired—they were running from legacy models written in Excel by their grandpa. And yes, the banana? It’s not fruit—it’s your next high-leverage shot.

So… who’s really the MVP: Messi or the algorithm that woke up at halftime? Vote below.